I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
