with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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