Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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