Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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