how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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