you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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