id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
