yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
