Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
