My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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