No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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