I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
