I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
