ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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