Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
