so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
