HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
