Even water is tasting like jack daniels
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
