Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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