my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
