There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
