what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
