did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
