bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
