you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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