fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
