I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
only you would photoshop your dick
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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