I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
