I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
