I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
