Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
