Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
