I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
