last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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