Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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