I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
two words...techno handjob
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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