i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
