Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Randomize
