Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He has the fingertips of a God
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
