yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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