next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize