You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
