I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
