At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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