drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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