he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
