Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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