Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
