its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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