Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
