They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
