Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
