Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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