I could make wine with my vomit
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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