Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
