Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
