SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
