this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
